Winter

Crystal clear as the Winter rolls in, I feel the good things, no negative ideas, walk up the hill to slide down. Ideally dry roads but that's unlikely up here.

Clown

I have never had an irrational fear of clowns, I always thought that was made up, why be afraid of clowns? I had a friend who, as an adult got a clown birthday cake from his mother, sort of a joke...I think, he threw it away, rude, I thought. I lack that sort of edgy fear of things, relatively well adjusted, relatively. Nothing to really push me over the edge, I feel ok about a lot of things, maybe even most things.

Stupid

 The guy was looking right at me as he rode 4 across with his frat buddies, it took a definitive "Hey, DIPSHIT" (it was all I could think of at the time) he brushed my shoulder, I stayed upright, I don't know if he did. He looked at me and then went to looking up at the mountains again. 

My call

Fuck it, I'll race what I want, I can't get carried away by what event I line up for. Better to be happy to be out there racing than the alternative...getting fat sitting around doing NOTHING. The race is good no matter what you do, it's cross for fuck's sake. The only discipline that really matters.

fat bitch burger

last night i ate my first burger in 18 years, not that i wanted to wait 18 years to have another i just stopped in may of 1988, and didn't start again until last night. pretty good, while sitting there at the new burger place here in town a family walked in that my wife knew, a client of some sort i gathered and as i wasn't introduced i had an idea of who it was. i relayed the story on another blog back when it happened i found out that the woman who nearly killed me a year and a half ago was this tubby bitch who is afraid of me, kind of funny b/c she outweighs me by about 40 lbs. my wife didn't let her know who i was for a while b/c she knew what had happened and when she found out about the truth as to who i was she spouted off and declared her fear of me. funny, to me. i guess she's some sort of trustafarian who had lipo over the winter but i guess it didn't take b/c she's as big as ever now. justice in the world. she can't even look at me, terrified, all she needs to do is apologize and it's gone, a simple "i'm sorry" and water under the bridge, not until though.

a.m.

it had to happen, first one in two years, oddly i didn't swear, only an oh shit as i went down and picked myself up. usually the commute is a bit cleaner, i felt fast today but i knew that the dusting overnight would only cover the black ice from the sunny afternoon yesterday. little bit of road rash and a bruise but not too bad. more of drop than a slide across the ground. where i came off was tarmac, not ice, so i sort of stopped my momentum with my hip, calf and foot. today i'll go look for better ice skills out in the valley where i just need to deal with snow machines and nicotine.

spring?

the first day of spring went past without much notice, better weather and it could have been a real holiday, the way it is in places that see spring earlier than may. rolling to work today had a better feel, the run this afternoon felt better than i thought it would. i see the light at the end of the tunnel, koppenberg will hurt a lot but it must be better than the cold snowy riding i have done the last week and a half.
i have been reading about scientology a lot lately and just can't get over the fact that beck is a scientologist, since i heard that i haven't been able to listen to his music. i started listening to him back in '93 or '94 with mellow gold, now i skip over the selection on the ipod without hesitating. it sucks, his music always made me smile and think, now it's wasted disk space.

link dump:
operation clambake

lies lies lies

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